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Dear Diary: Evidence of a Long Life of Wrong-Headed Thinking
Like others I’ve been blessed to know, I’ve kept journals. (And, yeah, they’re gonna be useful if the clinical trial’s rTMS fries my gray matter.) I go back and look at them from time to time. Mostly...
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Klonopin: Retreating Guard: Dragon
Day three. Or four. Or six. It’s Friday. I came here on Friday. Seven days, six alone with my parents. Been a long time since I made my home here. I love my parents, but every time I hear steps in the...
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Best Friends Past, Hardcore, & the Loneliness of Now
Like the Irish hero Cú Chulainn, Mark appeared to have more than one pupil in his eye, the darkness bleeding down into his iris to form a second dark pool in orbit. The result of his older brother’s...
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ISO: Noble Death Song … Or A Slippery-Fingered Fisherman
When your time comes to die, be not like those whose hearts are filled with fear of death, so that when their time comes they weep and pray for a little more time to live their lives over again in a...
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Sometimes Love Means Sharing Needles (Comfort The Afflicted)
He liked it when someone watched him shoot up. Insisted on it, begged and badgered for it. Thin hair dropping over his sunken left eye, G. would inevitably be smiling up at me from the toilet seat as...
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‘Just Lie Still’: What The Doctor Said To The Eggbeater To Me
Lie still with your eyes closed. Treatment begins in five, four, three, two, one. Treatment begins now. Rattalattarattalattasqueeeeak! Rattalattarattalattasqueeeeak! Rattalattarattalattasqueeeeak! –...
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Jesus, The Devil, And All The Horrible People They Know
Standing at the corner in an old green army jacket. Big plastic olive buttons, double-stitched eyelets, and a flaking white upside-down cross on a sharp-cut-but-fraying lapel. I’m approached by...
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The Dragon Returns: More On Dreaming & Depression Recovery
As I’ve been reading about the power of dreams to heal psychological wounds in The Wisdom of Depression (not a perfect book, but the first I’ve found to state plainly that melancholy springs from the...
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Accusations Of Mental Cruelty And The Hunt For Lord Mirth
To go to bed frustrated, despondent, or angry is to frequently enter shock therapy. In my case, I was still smarting from my decision to go public, the withholding of a blessing from (and it may...
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Sad Foods, Or: Everything at the Corner Store Wants to Kill Me
Here’s a chicken-and-egg for you: Which came first, the lazy prefrontal cortex signaling classical signs of depression or the low-energy body that must be dragged about from room to room without a...
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